


We Were Supposed To Make It

by Katsudon_p28



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Crazy Azula (Avatar), F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Lesbian Ty Lee (Avatar), Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Not Canon Compliant, POV Azula (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Siblings, TyZula Week, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, implied schizophrenia, my queen suki, protective suki, straitjackets, tyzula - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsudon_p28/pseuds/Katsudon_p28
Summary: ~I'm sure we're taller in another dimension,you say we're small and not worth the mention.~"- Do you think we could've made it in another time?- Maybe.- God, I'd love to live there, then.- ...Me too."
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll this first chapter is a bit short, sorry! Also, it’s been five years for Azula in the mental institution and the event of the comics never happened. So, you’ll see that she has a clearer state of mind even though she’s still off her rocker and considered a danger to society 🥰. I didn’t feel particularly comfy going in depth about her hallucinations and various other schizo-related mental issues because I myself don’t suffer from that mental illness and I didn’t want to be 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 person who does no research(Bc mind you I don’t have the time to) and thinks they understand what it’s like. Enjoy though. >.<

The walls of her room were so white. Plain and haunting, everywhere she looked was spotless. Azula glanced to her left and saw kind and soft amber eyes staring back. She shook her head. Her bangs looked terrible from this angle, granted, they looked terrible from every angle. This angle, however, made it glaringly obvious that her haircut was not the result of a visit with the royal hairdresser. They’d put her in her straitjacket this morning, because of course her dear Zuzu was scheduled to meet with her later on today. The man had the nerve to throw her in here and yet come and visit every week to make sure she had not yet found a way to off herself and the other nurses. It was considerably nicer today, her head wasn’t too loud. Azula had always hated excessive noise, it always gave her such terrible headaches. The halls outside were quiet, actually, they usually were, but she liked to state obvious things at random. It made her feel like she was actually talking to someone. Someone who wasn’t trying to dose her up, that is. There was a clatter from outside, it must have been one of the nurses, she thought. There were then footsteps approaching her room.

“Have you heard the news?” Azula strained against the jacket to hear.  
“No, what news?”  
“The Firelord is coming for his routine visit, and he’s bringing a group of his guards with him.”  
“He’s never brought guards before.” Both nurses quieted for a moment.  
“Hm, he must be taking that lunatic somewhere.”

Azula almost burst out in laughter right then and there. It had been over 5 years since the last Agni Kai, there was no way her dear brother was letting her go anywhere. She had done too much. Looking back on it all, Azula regretted many things. And yet, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling a flair of satisfaction in her chest. _She_ brought Ba Sing Se to its knees, _she_ could have defeated Zuko if the water tribe peasant hadn’t interfered. And yet, grey eyes haunted her, sharp scolds and threatening hands kept her awake every night. It was too loud, too loud. She knew something was wrong with her, she wasn’t so gone that she couldn’t realize that. Her reflection was no longer her own, everywhere she looked, she didn’t see wild gold eyes, but rather the gentle amber of her mother’s. When she wasn’t in this bothersome jacket, she’d look down and wouldn’t see her callused and strong, yet delicate hands. It’d be the rough and terrifying palms of her fathers, his accusing fingers. Azula was haunted by a woman she couldn’t please, and a man she couldn’t escape. But, she could never escape her. Behind Azula, the rainy skies were visible through the barred window. She hated the swirling and stormy grey of rainstorms, they reminded her too much of that girl, the girl she would never deserve.  
Of course, if Ty Lee could see her now, what would she do? Laugh in Azula’s face? Most likely. The feared princess of the Fire Nation, brought to kneel before her own deteriorating mind and weak brother. Forget Ty Lee, Azula was damn near about to cackle at her own demise. She choked her laughter down. There was a ghostly tranquility about the mental hospital, her psychotic laughter wouldn’t fit in this place. She had no neighbors, apparently being the crazed princess allowed her the comfort of solitude. That is, until her brother came for their routine chats. Sometimes, it looked as though he would almost burst into tears right in front of her. She’d laugh in his face of course, but there was always some part of her that wanted to do something, anything. Reach out and nudge her foot against his, maybe even bring up the memories of their reenactments of the Ember Island actors their mother would take them to see. She always feigned nonchalance, but she knew. She would have given everything for it to all be different. For Ursa to have loved her equally, for Ty Lee to have come back. Azula chuckled, Ty Lee wouldn’t have come back, and if she had, Azula would have mistreated her all over again. She wasn’t like her brother; some part of him always knew how to love. She was Azula, and he was Firelord Zuko; two siblings who weren’t made for normal love. But, one learned how to, anyway. She had heard that him and Mai were in quite the happy relationship. So, perhaps it was just Azula who wasn’t made to be loved, or know how to.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting for the idiotic “Firelord” had taken too long and Azula had decided to take a short nap. Her neck would ache the next day, but she was tired. And no one but Azula and Ty Lee knew that when Azula was tired, she could sleep anywhere, in any position. Although, it had been a while since she had slept for more than 10 consecutive minutes. She had just begun to nod off when the sound of heavy boots and multiple footsteps woke her up. Her brother’s raspy voice cut through the air, Azula heard him exchange a few words with the nurses before he and his little clique neared her cell. Mind you, Zuko and the nurses could call it a “room” all they wanted, it would never change the fact that it was, in fact, a cell. Azula went back to counting random objects in her room. So far, she’d found that there were exactly 73 lines in the tiles on the floor. She preferred mindless distractions. Otherwise, dwelling too much on her current state would only serve to produce even more self-loathing. Azula had grown quite tired of all that. She heard a soft voice ring through the hallways.

“Zuko, I changed my mind, I don’t think I should be here. ‘Zula wouldn’t want to see me.”  
That voice. Azula narrowed her eyes and leaned toward the door.  
“Relax, it’ll be fine, she won’t hurt you.”  
“That’s...you know that’s not what I’m worried about, Zuko.”  
Azula bared her teeth, how dare she show up here. How dare Zuko mock her like this. Azula sat up straight, if they wanted a visit with the princess then fine, they would see the princess. She heard the door open and when she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was grey. Warm, yet so distant and cold.

“Hello, Ty Lee. It’s so lovely to see you.”  
“Azula, I-”  
The sound of a fan being whipped out caught Azula’s attention, “Hello, Suka.” The girl's face scrunched, Azula couldn’t help but grin.  
“It’s Suki”, the girl hissed.  
“Enough, all of you. Suki, it’s alright, put your fans away.” Zuko said.  
Always the better man, the kinder man. It made Azula sick to her stomach.  
“Hello, Zuzu.” He turned to her, his eyes softening into a pitying stare. Azula wanted to burn the other side of his face.  
“Hello, Azula.” He paused, it looked like he wanted to keep going, but he shut his mouth.  
“Well? Spit it out Zuzu.” Zuko looked almost hurt.  
“I brought Ty Lee, but you- I guess you already know that.” Typical awkward Zuzu. “I’d like you to speak with her. I think it’d do you some good.”  
“So you brought me a traitor, because you thought it would be good for me? Honestly, Zuko, you grow bolder every day.” She stared him dead in the eye, surprisingly, he stared right back. Azula looked behind him. There she was. Ty Lee. The girl was in those stupid Kyoshi warrior robes with her face painted.  
“Zuko,” She murmured, “can we be alone? And, can you ask them to take that jacket off of her?”  
Azula narrowed her eyes; just what was she playing at?  
“Ty Lee, you know she’s dangerous.” Suki murmured harshly.  
“No, she wouldn’t hurt me. Can we please just be alone, and can you please just take that awful jacket off of her?” Azula must have taken too many of her pills today, because it looked as if Ty Lee was tearing up.  
“Okay, let me call the nurses.” Zuko walked out the door, leaving Ty Lee to avoid Azula’s stare and Suki to glare at the princess. Minutes later, two nurses in those awful robes came in to free Azula from the suffocating article. She heard Ty Lee gasp and Azula’s head snapped up.  
“What is it?” She sneered.  
“Nothing, Azula, it’s nothing.” Ty Lee rushed to whisper.  
Azula knew her body wasn’t the vessel of power she was once proud of. No, now she was frail, and the lack of sun had turned her skin sickly pale. But the way Ty Lee was looking at her, she couldn’t figure it out. There was no pity, no smug satisfaction. Only the concerned eyes of a former friend. No, no Ty Lee was never just a friend. She stared deep into those grey eyes and saw only the love and concern Ty Lee could ever give her. Azula then smiled. After all, her former lover was always ecstatic when Azula smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when the next chapter will be out, but I guess, erm....buckle up buttercups. Btw since it’s been about five years I just wanted to clarify that azula, suki, and ty lee would be about 19-20 and zuko about 21-22.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one. This whole fic is really just an angsty short story. Who knows, though. I might wake up and decide to make a sequel. Thanks for reading <3.

She was still so beautiful. Ty Lee. Standing in front of Azula, wringing her hands and shifting from foot to foot. She was just as beautiful as she was all those years ago. Azula felt something akin to shame when she thought of their past. She was better now, but Azula knew she was just as broken. She might not be as unstable or manic, but she was still just as violent and scared as she was in her youth. She never deserved Ty Lee. But good god, that girl still smiled at her. Ty Lee still looked at her like she was everything divine in one person. 

“Hey, ‘Zula”, Ty Lee murmured. She sat down cross legged at the other end of the table Azula sat at. For once, Azula had no idea what to say. She could smell Ty Lee’s perfume, the girl never was one to change. She could see the stormy gray of the other girl’s eyes. They were just as beautiful as Azula had remembered.

“Hello.” Azula looked away. She couldn’t even look Ty Lee in the eyes without her voice shaking.  
_Monster. Monster. Monster. Monster._  
It wouldn’t go away. Azula couldn’t make the voices go away. It was her fault they fell apart. It was her fault Ty Lee kept one hand near her waist where she kept her fans. It was her fault Ty Lee sat perfectly still, almost afraid to move. It was her fault- all of it.

“It’s cold.” Ty Lee said. When Azula looked up all she saw was desperation. Why? Of all people, why would Ty Lee be desperate?  
“Yes, it is.” was all Azula offered back.  
“You hate the cold,” a laugh, “you always sat just a bit closer to me if the winds picked up.” Ty Lee had that same look in her eyes she always did when she was reminiscing.  
“You always thought I didn’t notice, but I always did. It was-,” Ty Lee looked down, “It was adorable.” She murmured.  
“Are you here to mock me, Ty Lee?” Azula tried to sound angry, but her own voice ringing throughout the room didn’t even sound like her own. It sounded tired. Worn.  
“I just-,” She began to mumble, “I wanted to see you again.” The silver eyed girl began to fiddle with her fingers.  
Azula barked out a laugh. “Come to see the fallen princess, Ty Lee? I surely am a pathetic sight.” She saw Ty Lee’s head shoot up. Her eyes burned.  
“You know that’s not true, don’t make me out to be a terrible person. You know I’m not.” Ty Lee seethed. Azula opened and closed her mouth, gaping like a fool. There was nothing to say.  
“I’m sorry.” She eventually whispered.  
“What? You were never one to mumble, Azula. Don’t start now.” Ty Lee didn’t look angry, she just looked exhausted. Azula lifted her head, her features no longer set in a scowl. “I’m sorry, Ty Lee.” She choked out. Both of them knew Azula was no longer speaking about her teasing. “I’m- I’m sorry.” She repeated.  
“Azula, we don’t need to talk about those things.” Ty Lee looked as if Azula had screamed at her. It was quiet for a moment, Azula looked down at her lap. She could feel Ty Lee’s stare.  
“Zula,” Azula’s head shot up, “what do you remember?” Azula cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?” She saw Ty Lee suppress a smile. “What?” Azula attempted a menacing tone.  
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Ty Lee insisted. Azula snarled. Usually, Ty Lee would be put off by her aggressive behavior. However, right now, Azula was not the fearsome princess. Azula was the angry kitten only Ty Lee ever saw. “It’s just...you always look like a polar bear dog every time you do that.” Ty Lee barely suppressed a giggle.  
“Do what?” Azula growled.  
“This.” Ty Lee tilted her head with a smile. Azula sat with an incredulous look. She was sitting here in a _strait jacket_ , and Ty Lee had the nerve to compare her to a _polar bear dog_. Ty Lee burst out in giggles, “your face! Your face!”  
At the sound of Ty Lee’s laughter, all the anger and insecurity in Azula’s bones dissolved. It’d been years, and yet Ty Lee was still the most beautiful thing Azula had ever seen. Her head was thrown back, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. She was every good thing in this world, the princess thought.  
“Alright that’s- that’s enough. A royal’s face isn’t anything to laugh at, idiot.” Azula said with a slight smile. Ty Lee looked at Azula with soft eyes and a sad smile. It was almost like they had forgotten who they were, where they sat.  
“What I meant is, what do you remember about us?” Ty Lee said. Azula looked down, this wasn’t a topic she had prepared for.  
“Why are you asking me this? Can’t you just remember it yourself?” Azula whispered.  
“I want to remember it with you. I don’t want to remember by myself, or with anyone else.” Ty Lee pleaded. Azula sighed, this wasn’t something they should be talking about. Yet, she couldn’t stop her mouth from opening.  
“I remember Ember Island,” Her voice shook, “I remember it was the first time you kissed me. You know, after the stupid therapy bonfire.” Azula chuckled. “I remember feeling bad after I’d insulted you, and I didn’t know how to make it better. So, I just followed you all the way back to your room. I don’t think you were very mad at me. But, I followed you and eventually you turned around. I don’t really remember what you said to me, but I know you told me to go hell. Then, I don’t know. I never figured out why, but you kissed me. It was soft, you were my second kiss, but I like to think you were my first. I remember I wanted to keep kissing you, I just wanted to touch you. Maybe it’s because I knew I was never going to have you like this again.” Her chest hurt, it actually always hurt around Ty Lee. When she lifted her head back up, she saw Ty Lee teary eyed. “What do you remember, Ty Lee?” Azula murmured. The other girl smiled at Azula. There was not a single hint of amusement or joy in the curve of her lip.  
“I remember the day before we fell apart.” The girl began fiddling with her fingers. “I remember the way you kissed me. You acted like I was going to slip through your fingers if you didn’t hold on tight enough. Maybe,” She laughed, “maybe you knew what was going to happen. I didn’t think about it much. I just focused on your hands. Your mouth. The way you touched me. We really were just filthy teenagers weren’t we?” Azula laughed. “We were so young too. How disgraceful.” Ty Lee giggled. “Yeah. I- um, I remember the way you held me after. You smelled really good, like jasmine and burning wood. It sounds disgusting, but I don't know. It was you. I remember you put your head right in my neck. You asked me if I would ever leave you.” Ty Lee’s voice quivered. “I told you I wouldn’t. I _promised_ you I would never leave.” Azula swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you hate me?” Ty Lee choked out. The girl was too good for this world. Azula was the deranged princess of war, Ty Lee had every reason to leave. Their relationship was never something healthy or loving in any conventional and healthy way. This was how Azula had gotten away with how she mistreated Ty Lee. The other girl loved her too much to ever think about herself. There was a time where Azula loved that. Now? Azula was disgusted with herself. “No. No, I don’t hate you. And you- Ty Lee, you should have left me long before that. I’m sorry.” Azula was close to tearing up, her voice quivered. “I’m so sorry Ty Lee, I’m so sorry for everything. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. It wasn’t supposed to play out like this.” Azula looked up at the other girl with glassy eyes.  
“How was it supposed to play out, ‘Zula?” A tear fell and slid down the silver eyed girl’s cheek.  
“I was going to be Firelord, and you were going to stay by my side. I was going to rule everything. I didn’t know how else I was supposed to keep you. I didn’t know, Ty Lee, I don’t know. I was going to just mistreat you again and again. I’m sorry, Ty Lee, I’m sorry!” Azula sobbed. Everything went to hell, sure. But Ty Lee was supposed to stay. Azula was selfish then, and she was selfish now. She just wanted Ty Lee.  
“You were my first love, you know.” Ty Lee laughed. Tears streaming down her face. “People always loved the idea of first loves. I did too. Now I know why everyone’s so obsessed with it.” Azula tilted her head, she always was so out of depth when it came to emotional matters. “First loves are always doomed, that’s just how it works. They’re always destined to crash and burn. And that’s why people love them so much. We all love pain so much, we crave it. It makes us feel alive. Until it breaks us, then we fall. And eventually, we stand back up and look for ways to make us feel alive again. For some people, that’s the pain of falling apart again.” She smiled at Azula. They broke each other, and yet for some reason, Azula didn’t mind that she was torn apart by Ty Lee.  
“Do you think we’ll ever put each other back together?” Azula couldn’t stop the hope that seeped into her voice. She no longer cared if she sounded weak. She would’ve kneeled and begged if it meant she could live again. And this time, this time they would make it.  
“I think we can try to shove our frayed puzzle pieces back together, but it won’t ever be the same ever again.” Ty Lee said.  
“That’s alright. I think about us everyday, you know. I can’t stop.” Azula replied.  
“So do I.” Ty Lee breathed.  
“We were supposed to make it, you and I. We could’ve made it.” Azula croaked.  
“I know. I- I know.” Ty Lee whispered.  
What a sad sight they were to behold. A Kyoshi warrior and a fallen princess who once loved each other more than all the power within the avatar.  
“I still love you like I did when we were young, I still think about you. Do you think about me?”  
“Every day.”


End file.
